Moving Beyond Hatred of Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is next week and I am knee deep in getting gifts ready for Project Mother’s Day.  We will be delivering Mother’s Day Gifts to 50 mom’s of medically complicated and medically fragile children.  It is an awesome process but nerve racking.  Because we do not yet have a 501C3 we are totally dependent on grass roots giving.  Corporations do not generally help organizations that do not have one.  This year we did not capture any media attention so we are on our own.  A week out and we have some holes in our vision. 

I started Project for Mother’s Day for the same reason I started this blog.  I needed to for me.  Totally selfish!  For years, Mother’s Day left me alone with Maddie, changing diapers, doing medical treatments, and other mom chores.  There were no flowers, no candy, no cool cards (or even stupid cards), no fun presents.  Just another day.  Then my friends and my sister (love them all) would call to say happy Mother’s Day and tell me all about the fun things they had done with their children.  I always tried to be an adult about it and oooohhhh and ahhhh in all the right places.  And every year I ended up in tears feeling very sorry for myself.  I hate the whole thing!!!!

So last year I confessed to one of the amazing crones (among my friends, crones refers to wise, compassionate older women who have strength, courage, and spiritual depth) in my life.  With about as much patience with my pity party as I have, Mary turned the table on me, “So what are you going to do about it?” And I shared an idea I’d been playing with for a couple of years.

I figured if I hated Mother’s Day, there were probably other mom’s in similar situations that felt the same way.  It would be fun to surprise them with a Mother’s Day delivery.  So last year the Friends of MaddieG delivered gifts to 31 moms.  I learned a lot along the way. 

I found a whole lot of women hate Mother’s Day.  Some of them were moms to medically fragile children.  Others were women who longed to have a child and were not able to.  Still others had  traumatic childhood experiences leaving complex and painful feelings about their moms.   Others mother’s had transitioned from this life filling the whole day with grief.  That is a whole lot of pain on a day meant to be a celebration.

I also learned that moms (and dads) of medically fragile children need support and connection all year and not just one day a year.   Many parents feel overwhelmed, isolated, and frustrated.  There are needs for equipment and accommodations that are way beyond the household budget. I know those feelings so well because I have lived it year after year.  Mary’s voice echoes in my mind, “So what are you going to do about it?”

The Friends of MaddieG is seeking a 501C3 with visions of continuing things like Project Mother’s Day, addressing the problem of transportation that is wheelchair friendly, and other issues families face when a medically fragile child is involved.

We would be delighted to hear from you.  What are the issues you are facing?  What resources have you found?  What are the things that your family needs?  I expect will be learning a lot from all of you as we grow and develop.