“Teaching without Knowing” Continued...

I am late getting this posted!  My beloved Jeep lost its engine two hours after I accepted a new position with a 27 mile commute.  Add another $4000 to an already over taxed budget.  But one way and another I have been able to juggle the new job and no vehicle.   It isn’t a crisis just another bump in the road to be navigated.  That I believe is one of hard earned gifts of being a parent of a medically fragile child.  We learn to navigate a lot of obstacles!

To continue the discussion of “Teaching without Knowing”

The news from medical personal about our children is not easy to hear.  For many it is peppered

with limitations, anticipated delays, and other things a loved one would not like to hear.  It is important to know those predictions.  Just keep in mind they are just that-- predictions.

In my experience they are as useful as a weather forecast.  The weather report for the next few days is clear and a bit warmer (yeah!).  However, it is not uncommon for the weather to turn out differently than was forecast.  In this case I hope turns out to be warmer.   In my world it is not uncommon for a snow storm to move in a different direction than the weather people anticipated and leave a nasty pile of snow instead of flurries or a few flakes instead of the few inches. 

Like weather forecasters, professionals assessing children with significant special needs can only make general predictions. It is an educated guess.  How a child’s medical and cognitive situation actually unfolds is largely unknown.  It is greatly influenced by the nature of the child’s personality, the body’s capacity to adapt, the stimulation received, and a whole lot of brain function that is a mystery to everyone.

Development capacity, physical capacity, and physiological issues remain cloudy.  So what are parents and caregivers to do? 

For me the answer is clear!  .  Assume life, development and intelligence!

Every child (regardless of diagnose or prognosis) needs every opportunity to become the best that they can be.  That comes only with stimulation, interaction, and movement. 

Especially during the first few years of life, we do not know what children with significant special needs are taking in.  We do know that the brain is developing and creating pathways that will be used throughout life.  Therefore providing rich and varied stimulation to encourage physical and cognitive development is important to your child now and in the future.

Some children have physical issue that making the tired threshold very low.  That’s okay.  It is part of who your child is.  So provide activities in short time frames throughout the day and evening.  In between make sure there is music or stories on tape and things that are fun to look at.   

Ideas to stimulate your child:

1.   Provide the same stimulation and interactions you would with any other child.  As an infant talk, make faces, tickle, and move legs and arms. As the child grows add reading stories, encouraging movements, simple games like peek-a-boo.  A little older add the alphabet, colors and numbers. 

2.   Always assume intelligence.  I cannot emphasis this enough.   Children tend to live up to what is expected of them. 

3.  Encourage and teach other people to do the same.   When you catch someone having a great interaction with your child, thank them and explain how important such interaction is.   More difficult is the need to step up when someone talks baby talk or says negative things to your child.   Unfortunately some of the worst offenders I encountered were school staff , bus drivers, and nurses.   If the behavior doesn’t change, take more formal routes to correct the situation. 

I know!  Conflict and confrontation are unpleasant.  And I confess I would rather avoid it.  However, people are teaching your child what he or she is capable of.  His or Her future depends on what they learn about themselves.

4.  Keep stimulation age appropriate.  I visited my daughter’s classroom of 4^th through 6^th graders in an Indiana school.  The day opened with a story called “Puppy Goes to School” written for preschoolers.  I could see the boredom and was not surprised when misbehavior that followed.    I confess Maddie was one of the problem kids adding loud yawns and hollering at another child.  I did address Maddie’s behavior with her but was at a loss to explain to her why it was important to her to pay attention to a story she might have liked three or four years earlier.  At home Maddie was fully engaged in reading The Witch, the Lion, and Wardrobe with the nurses and me.  

 

In general, children want to please their adults (and older peers).  The following interaction guides will encourage strong growth and development of both the cognitive and physical realms.

                           A.  Have expectations

                           B.  Offer praise and encouragement

                           C.  Allow child to succeed or fail as independently as possible

                           D.  Celebrate and move on

 

Every child is different!  What things have you found to encourage and stimulate your child?  Are there things that you wish you knew but don’t?  Please don’t hesitate to comment.  All of us reading this blog are dealing with these issues one way or another.  Perhaps we can learn from each other.