I am late getting this posted!
My beloved Jeep lost its engine two hours after I accepted a new
position with a 27 mile commute. Add
another $4000 to an already over taxed budget.
But one way and another I have been able to juggle the new job and no
vehicle. It isn’t a crisis just another
bump in the road to be navigated. That I
believe is one of hard earned gifts of being a parent of a medically fragile
child. We learn to navigate a lot of obstacles!
To continue the discussion of “Teaching without Knowing”
The news from medical personal about our children is not easy to
hear. For many it is peppered
with
limitations, anticipated delays, and other things a loved one would not like to
hear. It is important to know those
predictions. Just keep in mind they are
just that-- predictions.
In my experience they are as useful as a weather forecast. The weather report for the next few days is
clear and a bit warmer (yeah!). However,
it is not uncommon for the weather to turn out differently than was
forecast. In this case I hope turns out
to be warmer. In my world it is not
uncommon for a snow storm to move in a different direction than the weather
people anticipated and leave a nasty pile of snow instead of flurries or a few
flakes instead of the few inches.
Like weather forecasters, professionals assessing children with
significant special needs can only make general predictions. It is an educated
guess. How a child’s medical and
cognitive situation actually unfolds is largely unknown. It is greatly influenced by the nature of the
child’s personality, the body’s capacity to adapt, the stimulation received,
and a whole lot of brain function that is a mystery to everyone.
Development capacity, physical capacity, and physiological issues
remain cloudy. So what are parents and
caregivers to do?
For me the answer is clear! . Assume life, development and intelligence!
Every child (regardless of diagnose or prognosis) needs every
opportunity to become the best that they can be. That comes only with stimulation,
interaction, and movement.
Especially during the first few years of life, we do not know what
children with significant special needs are taking in. We do know that the brain is developing and
creating pathways that will be used throughout life. Therefore providing rich and varied stimulation
to encourage physical and cognitive development is important to your child now
and in the future.
Some children have physical issue that making the tired threshold very
low. That’s okay. It is part of who your child is. So provide activities in short time frames
throughout the day and evening. In
between make sure there is music or stories on tape and things that are fun to
look at.
Ideas to stimulate your child:
1. Provide the same
stimulation and interactions you would with any other child. As an infant talk, make faces, tickle, and
move legs and arms. As the child grows add reading stories, encouraging
movements, simple games like peek-a-boo.
A little older add the alphabet, colors and numbers.
2. Always assume
intelligence. I cannot emphasis this
enough. Children tend to live up to
what is expected of them.
3. Encourage and teach other
people to do the same. When you catch
someone having a great interaction with your child, thank them and explain how
important such interaction is. More
difficult is the need to step up when someone talks baby talk or says negative
things to your child. Unfortunately some of the worst offenders I
encountered were school staff , bus drivers, and nurses. If the behavior doesn’t change, take more
formal routes to correct the situation.
I know! Conflict and confrontation
are unpleasant. And I confess I would
rather avoid it. However, people are
teaching your child what he or she is capable of. His or Her future depends on what they learn
about themselves.
4. Keep stimulation age
appropriate. I visited my daughter’s
classroom of 4th through 6th graders in an Indiana school. The day opened with a story called “Puppy
Goes to School” written for preschoolers.
I could see the boredom and was not surprised when misbehavior that
followed. I
confess Maddie was one of the problem kids adding loud yawns and hollering at
another child. I did address Maddie’s
behavior with her but was at a loss to explain to her why it was important to
her to pay attention to a story she might have liked three or four years earlier. At home Maddie was fully engaged
in reading The Witch, the Lion, and Wardrobe with the nurses and me.
In general, children want to please their adults (and older
peers). The following interaction guides
will encourage strong growth and development of both the cognitive and physical
realms.
A. Have expectations
B. Offer praise and
encouragement
C. Allow child to succeed or
fail as independently as possible
D. Celebrate and move on
Every child is different! What
things have you found to encourage and stimulate your child? Are there things that you wish you knew but
don’t? Please don’t hesitate to
comment. All of us reading this blog are
dealing with these issues one way or another.
Perhaps we can learn from each other.
